Tom Green - I'm No Comedian lyrics

Ha Ha For those of you that think this is, a comedy record... Check it! [Verse 1:] I'm no comedian I'm a fiend for nicotene But I don't need a cigarette Know what I mean? I keep 'em bustin' a nut On these routines You'll never see a brick wall Back of my blue jeans So come around Open your mouth for protein If rockin' the mic was a drug Then I'm a dope fiend There's not a neon sign that says "Yum, Yums" or "Cracker Jacks" My raps are causin' laugh attacks Not knock knock jokes I tickle trunks Now who's on first? You silly punks Home, without hit re-runs It won't be syndicated sitcoms Just me droppin' bombs 'Cause I'm no comedian I'm droppin' dope like this one It's not Carrot Top causin' a sh** storm I'm break wreck Roll over ya like a german tank There's no redemption This ain't shawshank Or Johnny Carson Or Buddy Mark Unless Pee-Wee Herman But funny like Biz Markee But I ain't no joke On the mic I'm a k**a So go get in a cacoon and curl up like a caterpillar You wanna have a chuckle? (Ha, Ha) I'm not in the mood So just buckle up your seat buckle And prepare for impact And if you're wearin' your retard helmet then you'll be intact [Chorus:] I'm droppin' dope like this one (Ha, ha, ha, ha) I'm no comedian I'm droppin' dope like this one And I ain't no joke [Verse 2:] I'm no comedian I got too many fat raps And s**a Emcees flat like flapjacks I'm not tellin' a joke or a riddle I'm not Jack Paar Jumpin' on a stool in the middle of the stage Under the spotlight I'm just a roastin' most of ya Never been toasted I'm the poster for boastin' I got more flows than your foes And tongue-tied in a twiddle Dee-dot, duh-deedle-deedle dum! Ha, Ha (Ha, Ha) I'm no comedian I'm rippin' it up in every medium I sound dope You sound like you're on helium So say hello to my ex at your next A.A. meetin' And don't make me laugh Oh wait, That's right You don't make me laugh You got the personality of an overpa** Your bank account on overdraft While I'll be dippin' dollar bills in your girlfriends a** I'm blowin' your brain like the sax With my rhymes Shapin' your ball like kojack Throw jacks, and smokes And tell jokes when no one laughs Give a shrug and drop it on another track This is a payback Prepare for impact Put on your retard helmet and you'll be intact HOOO! [Chorus] I'm no comedian I'm droppin' dope like this one I'm no comedian I'm droppin' dope like this one I ain't no joke