Submitted for your inspection The evolutionary erection Of primitive man But before we explore the question of his sense of style We must point out his predilection To cover his glands Brothers, we've been led to believe That between adam and eve There was nothing to hide Were it not for eve's primal haste Or a leaf strategically placed Who knows what she'd decide Eve and some guy named clyde That's why life is a drag Life is just a pose in a rag You can play the part of Pusher or pastor Of harlot or hag Life is just a dressing game Life is a drag The argument can be rendered All bodies are forcibly gendered By how they are wrapped And though popular opinion holds this Makes us civilized So much deference is attended By what's in one's lap History proves that Who wears the pants is as much a mere circumstance As a matter of time Ultimately, why should we care Where one buys one's lace underwear If one is so inclined Show me yours, I'll show mine That's why life is a drag Fashion is a long running gag We can deck you out in sequins or spandex A mohawk or shag Who remembers unis**? Life is a drag It's a drag What a drag You can be a stag in a bag They won't know until you're stiff On a slab and they look at the tag What you see is what you get Life is a drag Let's just say We hereby conspire That a change of attire Is all part of the plan Something that was so long suppressed Starts to show when you wear a dress And if clothes make the man They can unmake the man That's why life is a drag Life is just a pose in a rag You can play the part of Pusher or pastor Of harlot or hag Life is just a dressing game Life is a drag It's a drag What a drag Fashion is a long running gag Aren't you glad they found a way to look hip When your bu*t starts to sag Praise the lord, designer jeans What you see is what you get Who remembers unis** And who are you calling f*g Life is a drag