If you talk about saving the environment, you have got to be out of your mind Polar bears are real cute until you watch them eat their own kind Mauled by a tiger or bit by a shark? I'd much rather be hit by a bus So let's pave the planet. We'll get them before they get us All this dark matter is strangling my heart It's as black and as empty as space How could you miss it? It's written all over my face And if you haven't yet, pick up a pack of cigarettes I'm told that they're good for your health Just don't wait for them to throw you a bone It's just a matter of time until you're shown That you're a fool to be on anyone's side but your own Because what it comes down to is, in this world, you're alone You'd better start thinking of yourself “Golf is like God” and “Beer is like s**” were my dad's rules for being a man But the truth of his words, at the time, I could not understand He said that, “You will be a conservative too when you get something to conserve” But the world he's created I can neither afford nor deserve Acting dumb, screaming “f** capitalism” Shouting at the top of our lungs Back when we were idealistic, naive, and young Now, I'm met with a frightening prospect That forces me to my knees to crawl The older I get, the less I care About which punk rock t-shirt to wear That's why it's time to maybe cut off all my stupid hair Because we all are catching the scent in the air We can't change the world after all We must admire the weak and the frail who wear long pants and shirts to the beach Because when we are slaves, they will be the ones holding the leash Those among us with the most powerful brains, they deserve all the pity we have Because, for all their brilliance, they can't tell what's good from what's bad So let's figure out what this fuss is all about Get out your forceps and knife Take pi/infinity and multiply by the meaning of life Because the ones who are not drinking poison Are urinating in a cup What I need is a clever aside To keep my idle brain occupied And the size of the universe is one I've already tried All hope for the future has finally died Youth of America, give up