Well.. TS Elliot tuned the radio Couldn't get rid of the static Serves him right for being so enigmatic TS Elliot crashed his motor car Snapped a clutch cable I bet you my youngest daughter Could drink him under the table TS Elliot, TS Elliot, TS Elliot, TS Elliot Oh Thomas Well... TS Elliot lost his wallet When he went into town Serves him right for hanging out With the likes of Ezra Pound TS Elliot thinks he's famous because he's a genius But don't you know I'm ambivalent About the modernist achievement TS Elliot, TS Elliot, TS Elliot, TS Elliot Wooaah TS Elliot Hey girls, there ain't no maybe TS Elliot Well I'm your favourite teacher, baby TS Elliot He's only a poet TS Elliot Well I'm your man and don't you know it, baby, yeah Ugh! Huh! Aaghh! We've come to tell you a something tonight, Mr.Elliot We've come to tell you something... Do anything you like, Mr.Elliot Say all the loves, all the lights and Juliets tomb Or you can roll the universe into a ball Good night, ladies, good night Do anything you like, Mr.Elliot Become the greatest Anglo-American poet since the war Mr.Elliot You can be quoted in Heart of Darkness, Mr.Elliot But there is one thing I warn you There's one thing you should never do Don't you ever step on my... blue... suede... Shoes