Tism - I'd Be Happier If I Was More Depressed lyrics

I been listenin' to silverchair, now I wish I was a freak; Been readin' The River Ophelia - I'd love a masochistic streak; But I am just a normal guy - I even use capital "S" - Why, I'd rather tell the papers that I secretly cross-dress; Women Who Run With Men Who Hate Wolves just left me unimpressed - I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed To get anywhere these days it seems a problem's a necessity; Your father's gay; h**n's pa**e - just another fashion accessory; I tried Recovered Memory, but that put me in a bind Cos I became hypnotically aware my Dad was really kind You might have once been traumatized, but we're not all similarly blessed - I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed I went along to the Men's Movement - "Stop crying, girl," they'd shout; Steve Biddulph, who wrote that Manhood book, got up and punched my lights out; I went along to the women's room, but all I did was get it wrong - I told 'em Smack Your b**h Up was my current favorite song; "But the Prodigy are so confronting," I tried vainly to protest: I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed I lied to the Gambling Help Line, said I'd made my family poor - When I asked what chance recovery, they offered me nine to four; I rang that Alan Jones guy up, but he couldn't help me either: "You a battler or a bludger?" he said - it turns out, I was neither! "Come back when you're a stereotype if you wanna be in the press." I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed Finally I told the wife the reason I'd been so undemanding And what was worse, she took it well, and was totally understanding; Those self-destructing relationships are simply too much fuss: Whose Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Well, I gotta say, not us - Would you believe I like my kids? Can you get more mentally messed? I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed Why is it just so hard for me to take things way too far? I'd like to travel beyond good and evil, but first I gotta wash the car; I'd like to get a nipple ring and connect it to my dodger But somehow it just don't suit a bloke whose name is plain old Roger- I'd be a member of the undercla**, but they'd laugh at how I dressed: I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed So it looks like I got to give up my dream of joining the Bad Seeds - Those guys can't handle confronting concepts, like "thanks" and "please"; Sneaking 16 things in the "12 Items Only" aisle will be my biggest sin; It's the shopping center of modern consciousness that I will stay trapped in - I buy my junk from off the streets - I find The Trading Post's the best: I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed I just know I can't be creative. Why? I'm not depressed enough - Yet I wish I was the guy who wrote: "If you're creative - get stuffed." There's a competition going to have the most painful lives But the pain you feel from nine to five I guess don't qualify Your life might be miserable, but that don't stop your art from being crappier: I'm sure that I would be more depressed if I wasn't happier