Tim Minchin - Telly lyrics

(MR WORMWOOD) Somewhere on a show I heard That a picture tells a thousand words So telly, if you bothered to take a look Is the equivalent, of like, lots of books! All I know I learned from telly This big beautiful box of facts If you know a thing already Baby, you can switch the channel over just like that Endless joy and endless laughter... Folks living happily ever after... All you need to make you wise Is 23 minutes plus advertisements Why would we waste our energy? Turning the pages 1, 2, 3 When we can sit comfortably On our lovely bumferlies Watching people singing and talking and doing stuff?! All I know I learned from telly The bigger the telly, the smarter the man! You can tell from my big telly Just what a clever fella I am! (spoken) Take it away, son (Michael plunks out a few notes on a guitar) You can't learn that from a stupid book All I know I learned from telly - What to think and what to buy I was pretty smart already But now I'm really, really smart - very very smart Endless content, endless channels... Endless chat on endless panels... All you need to fill your muffin Without having to really fink or nothing! Why would we waste our energy Trying to work out "Ulysses" When we can sit happily On our lovely bapperlies Watching slightly famous people Talking to really famous people? All I know I learned from telly The bigger the telly, the smarter the man! You can tell from my big telly Just what a clever fella I am! Who the dickens is Charles Dickens? Mary Shelley? Cor, she sounds smelly Harry Potter? What a rotter Jane Austen? In the compostin' James Joyce? Doesn't sound noice Ian McEwan? Ugh, I feel like spewin' William Shakespeare? Schwilliam Schmakespeare Moby Dick? Easy Grandma! All together now! All I know I learned from telly The bigger the telly, the smarter the man! You can tell from my big telly Just what a clever fella I am! Thank you very much!