Tim Minchin - Bruce lyrics

[MISS TRUNCHBULL] Bruce Bogtrotter [BRUCE] Yes, miss? [MISS TRUNCHBULL] You liked my cake, didn't you, Bruce? [BRUCE] Yes, Miss Trunchbull! And I'm very sorry – [MISS TRUNCHBULL] Oh, no, no, no, no, no. As long as you enjoyed the cake. That's the main thing [BRUCE] Is it? [MISS TRUNCHBULL] Yes! Bogtrotter, it is [BRUCE] Oh. Well, I did. Thank you MISS TRUNCHBULL Wonderful. Marvellous. That makes me so happy. It gives me a warm glow in my lower intestine. Oh, cook . . What's the matter, Bogtrotter? Lost your appetite? [BRUCE] Well, yes. I'm full [MISS TRUNCHBULL] Oh, no, you are not "full". I'll tell you when you are full. And I say that criminals like you are not full until you have eaten the entire cake [BRUCE] But – [MISS TRUNCHBULL] No "buts". You haven't got time for "but". Eat [BRUCE] But I can't eat it all! [MISS HONEY] Headmistress, he'll be sick! [MISS TRUNCHBULL] He should have thought of that before he made a pact with Satan and decided to steal my cake! Eat! [LAVENDER] He can't! [MISS TRUNCHBULL] Eat! [TOMMY] He surely can't! [MISS TRUNCHBULL] Eat! [NIGEL] He might explode! [MISS TRUNCHBULL] Eat!! [ALL KIDS except BRUCE] A single slice Or even two, Bruce Might have been nice But even you, Bruce Have to admit Between you and it There's not a lot of difference in size He can't! (He can! Bruce!) He surely can't! He surely can't! (You are the man, Bruce!) He might explode! (He's quite elastic . . .) He's going to blow. Make him stop! (He's fantastic! Look at him go!) I can't watch! I think in effect This must confirm, Bruce What we all suspected You have a worm Bruce! Or maybe your largeness Is like the TARDIS: Considerably roomier inside He can't! (He can!) He surely can't! He surely can't! (You are the man, Bruce!) B-R-O-O-C-E! Bruce! You'll never again be subject to abuse For your immense caboose She'll call a truce, Bruce With every swallow, you are tightening the noose We never thought it was possible But here it is, coming true: We can have our cake and it it too! The time has come to put that tumbly-tum to use No excuse, Bruce Let out your belt. I think you'll want your trousers loose Oh – Stuff it in. (Bruce!) You're almost finished. (Bruce!) You'll fit it in Whatever you do, just don't give in Don't let her win Come on, Bruce, be our hero Cover yourself in chocolate glory! [BRUCE] It's too much! It's just too much! [MATILDA] Go on, Bruce. Do it [MISS TRUNCHBULL] Silence! [ALL KIDS except BRUCE] Oh – Bruce! You'll never again be subject to abuse for your immense caboose She'll call a truce, Bruce Just one more bite and you'll've completely cooked her goose We never thought it was possible But here it is, coming true: We can have our cake and eat it – Ah-ah-aah-ah Ah-ah-aah-ah Ah-ah-aah-ah Ah-ah-aah-ah [MISS HONEY] Go on, Brucey!