Tim Minchin - Woody Allen Jesus lyrics

Jesus was a Jewish philosopher Had a lot of nice ideas About our existential fears Much admired by his peers Short and Jewish and quite political Often hesitant and very an*lytical Praise be to Jesus Praise be to Woody Allen Jesus Woody Allen Jesus Jesus was a great entertainer Doing cool tricks all of the time Turning water into wine Making stormy weather fine Even now, his stunts confound us Kind of did what Derren Brown does Praise be to Jesus Praise be to magic Woody Allen Jesus Magic Woody Allen Jesus Jesus died but then came back to life So the Holy Bible said Kinda like in 'Dawn of the Dead' Like a film by Simon Pegg Try that these days, you'd have trouble Geeks would try to smack you with a shovel Praise be to Jesus Praise be to magic Woody Allen zombie Jesus Magic Woody Allen zombie Jesus Jesus ascended into Heaven He was an incredible guy You don't often find fellows that fly Disappear right into the sky And only once did he use this ability With great power comes great responsibility Praise be to Jesus Praise be to magic Woody Allen zombie superman Jesus Jesus Jesus's mother gave birth to him Without having s** with a dude No, she would never be that rude Never even be nude with a dude Breeding without the opposite gender is Commonly known as parthenogenesis Other animals that don't need males Include a lot of lizards and various snails Praise be to Jesus Praise be to magic Woody Allen zombie superhero komodo dragon Jesus Jesus Jesus can communicate with the deceased Like Psychic Sally, without the earpiece Jesus lives forever, which is pretty odd But not as odd as his fetish for drinking blood Jesus is in more than one place at a time Like an electron, or Schrödinger's feline Jesus pulled off that water walking miracle He was as handy as an amphibious vehicle Jesus had bare feet, long hair, and a beard Look I'm not saying I'm Jesus No! I'm not saying that I am Jesus I'm not saying that I am Jesus I am Jesus Praise be to Jesus Praise be to Woody Allen Jesus (Woody Allen Jesus) Praise be to magic Woody Allen zombie superhero komodo dragon telepathic vampire quantum hovercraft me Jesus