Eat He can't Eat He surely can't Eat He might explode EAT! I can see that a slice Or even two, Bruce Might have been nice But even you, Bruce Have to admit Between you and it There's not a lot of difference in size He can't He can, Bruce He surely can't He surely can't You are the man, Bruce He might explode He's quite elastic He's going to blow, make him stop He's fantastic, look at him go I can't watch I think in effect This must confirm, Bruce What we all suspected You have a worm, Bruce Or maybe your largeness is a bit like a TARDIS Considerably roomier inside He can't He can, Bruce He surely can't He surely can't You are the man, Bruce B-R-O-O-C-E Bruce The time has come To put that tumbly tum to use You've produced, Bruce Fantastically enthusiastic gastric juice Oh eat it up, lick it up, s** it up Whatever you do don't chuck it up And muck it up Come on, Bruce, be a hero Cover yourself in chocolate glory Bruce You'll never again be subject to abuse For your immense caboose She'll call a truce, Bruce With every swallow you are tightening the noose We never thought it was possible But here it is coming true We can have our cake and eat it too(se) The time has come To put that tumbly tum to use No excuse, Bruce Let out your belt I think you'll want your trousers loose Oh stuff it in (Bruce) You're almost finished (Bruce) You'll fit it in Whatever you do just don't give in (Bruce) Don't let her win (Bruce) Come on, Bruce, be a hero Cover yourself in chocolate glory (Come on Bruce, do it!) Oh, Bruce! You'll never again be subject to abuse For your immense caboose She'll call a truce, Bruce Just one more bite and you'll've Completely cooked her goose We never thought it was possible But here it is coming true We can have our cake and eat it Ah-ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah-ah Ah! Go on, Brucie!