Tim Minchin - 18 Yr Old Lesbian lyrics

You can have my body You can steal my car You can take my money You can have what you like but it won't get you very far Cos my heart belongs to an 18 year old lesbian You can be my lover We can have a fling You can say you're mine forever You can tell me what you like but it won't get you anything Cos my heart belongs to an 18 year old lesbian I can't quite believe it After years of lonely searching I have stumbled here on my ideal girl And forget about logistics So she's seven years my junior So what if she likes kissing girls as well? It doesn't matter Cos I know I've found my only one She has my heart forever But I'll keep my feelings to myself I'd never dare to tell her Cos she tends towards females And I'm definitely a fella But if she was mine By God, I'd love her well You can be my buddy We'll be best of friends And you may be smart or funny We may be the perfect pair but there'll be tears in the end Cos my heart belongs to an 18 year old lesbian I don't see why I shouldn't Be allowed to have my dream Just because we bat for different sides Just look at Romeo and Juliet They ended up together Though admittedly they prematurely died It doesn't matter Cos next time I see her I'm gonna pledge my heart forever And I'll ask her for her hand Although I won't forget to tell her That I don't mind wearing dresses If she wants to be the fella Cos I think I'd make A really lovely bride I can't quite believe it After years of lonely searching I have stumbled here on my ideal girl And forget about logistics So she's seven years my junior So what if she likes kissing girls as well? It doesn't matter Cos she can wear the trousers And I will wear the nighty She can grow her armpit hair And I will wax fortnightly And despite the fact that hairless I'm a little bit unsightly I'd give more than just my hair to have this girl