Tig Notaro - Artificial Insemination lyrics

You guys don't wanna have kids Do you? Ya I do with all of you I think we're gonna make great parents The weekends are gonna be tough Splitting up the time but we're gonna do it I think I have to get artificially inseminated I love that it's called that Cause it not like you're not getting inseminated You're getting inseminated If it was artificial you'd go in for your doctor's appointment And they insert one of those sponge creatures inside of you that expands And nine months later …… a velasture rapture Hey somebody artificially inseminated me Who is the wise guy? But I also love the idea of getting artificially inseminated And just giving it up for adoption It turns out I don't want that child after all