This Deafening Whisper - Datura lyrics

Can you help me understand? What books and life have failed to teach me Can you free me from the guilt? For me to carry on These fragments of memories are haunting my sleep Turning to nightmares all the beauty of reckless dreams And now I get it right The warnings and the signs make sense now I cannot change the fact I’ve let you down But now it’s all so quiet The warnings and the signs make sense now I’d k** myself tonight To bury your head again, in my arms And this is the part where I think I should feel sorry But in this twirling chaos, emotions are spinning I just don’t have the strength to beg your forgiveness And I’ll never get that chance I’ll silence their voices I’ll silence their voices once and for all It’s time, that I get this right I’m a poison for you, a disease, a trap I can’t change that fact, but I won’t hold anything back