He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth People should get beat up for stating their beliefs He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth Because he knows there's no such thing He asks a girl if they can both sit in a chair but he doesn't get nervous She's not really there He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth Because he knows there's no such thing Tour the world in a heavy metal band But they run out of gas The plane can never land He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth People should get beat up for stating their beliefs He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth Because he knows there's no such thing What's the sense in ever thinking about the tomb When you're much too busy returning to the womb? He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth People should get beat up for stating their beliefs He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth Because he knows there's no such thing