[Verse 1] I bought a Tascam reel and a cast iron pan A flask of Tequila, a fountain pen A s**y typewriter, from way backwhen I bid a fond farewell to my best-est friends I packed my possessions in a U-Haul van I soared, like a sailor to the promised land [Pre-Chorus] Once I saw the aqueducts and statues I knew what I had to do… I'd do…do as the Romans DO [Verse 2] I found a one-bedroom with a bird's eye view I took the F train to 2nd avenue Where the bath house was bumpin' the dubstep blues They're sipping cane sugar sodas and top shelf booze Mix Ralph Lauren togas with thrift-shop shoes Meeting 9 to 5 quotas with a-nothin to lose... [Pre-Chorus 2] They like to see pictures They like captions They like songs with lots of 'oohs' That's how you do...do as the Romans do [Bridge] Sing with the sirens What do they tell you? Isn't it lovely When they scream? [Verse 3] I showed up to the alley with my tin pan With a middle finger stickin up to the man But the miners in the alley traded tin pans For the Silicon Valley and a business plan So I tattooed my face onto my hand And unto my own image I built a brand Now as soon as I have a mill-i-on faceless fans That's when I'mma start movin' those cheap head bands [Pre-Chorus 3] They like to see pictures They like captions They like songs with lots of... Talk about my social status, add me to your list, I want to... These days we build empires in much less than one day, oh yes it's true And you can too As long as you do... Do as the Romans do