The Gabbie Show - Roast Yourself Challenge lyrics

[Verse 1: The Gabbie Show] Yo, Revine for Revine I got 1.7 million subscribers and I made this entire thing on iMovie Like, not just the video part, like the entire thing Like, I had to export the audio file as a video and then bring it back in as a video and then overlay video on top of video because I don't know how to do sh** with audio, it's pretty f**ing pathetic [Verse 2: The Gabbie Show] Hi Gabbie! Hey! What's up today? I'm gonna roast myself That's up to date Not really, b**h, you're f**ing late Two sh**ty vids a week too much to plate? You know damn well what took so long to come out with this whack-a** song What the f** are you supposed to do when you wanna join in but no one challenges you? It's lonely and pathetic but I'll put that on the shelf and I'll challenge myself to roast myself How original! What a surprise. You're dying along and you can't get guys Maybe your dating life would be just fine if you didn't talk about it all the f**ing time [Verse 3: The Gabbie Show] Welcome back! Who the f** you talking to, b**h? Can't you see no one's even coming back to this sh**? You have another channel that nobody watches, your vlogs got no views like an agnostic Haven't you noticed all your views slow-dropping? Looks like your show-stoppers stopped show-stopping You hang out with and act like and dress like a teen and your social life only exists on the screen The fact that you've had the same hair for 8 years doesn't make you appear to be young to your peers Speaking of which, how f**ing old are you again? Your voice sounds like you smoked two packs a day since you were 10 About to get as cold as a damn ice cube, how the f** did you ever make it big on YouTube? Take your irrelevant a** back to Vine where people only hate you 6 seconds at a time You remade so many memes I forgot to mention: your family set you down for de-vine intervention [Verse 4: The Gabbie Show] The Gabbie Show, what a f**ing genius Twerk for views, now show more cleavage Here's some sh** to make them flip their lids Make some vids that appeal to kids Pokemon, Ghost Stories, Tinder Dates Make content that even you would hate So you can get hella views 'cause they all relate, then you slap 'em in the face with some fresh clickbait If you had fans once, then you surely lost them, now you only get views making out with Shane Dawson It's not clickbait if it actually happened! Okay, stop right there before I start snapping You say you hate drama but don't try to spin it if that was the case, how you always up in it? Get off your f**ing high horse and take some blame Stop exaggerating stories just for money and fame I don't know how to get this through to you, if you're always in drama, the problem is you (Oh! It's probably true.) The Gabbie Show, behind the scenes Stuffing your face with Krispy Kremes Reading comments about your size Use Chipotle napkins to wipe your eyes Washing your feelings down with tears I'm on a diet! What, for 25 years? I know you diet and you're trying to be a smaller size but running out of ideas is your only exercise I'm not the type to hit you with low blows but the only thing bigger than your thighs is your nose You think my nose is big? Oh, I never heard that before. Tell me why your roast sounds like a 10 year-old commenter Gotta admit, that's a real good one. Now, tell me Gabbie, who'd you steal that from? I never stole a joke from any of the pros That's a lie, that's why you got Pinocchio's nose (Oh! Ouch! Oh my god, I can't even be mad! f**, that was clever! sh**! Ouch!) You rehash the same joke a million times, you did "Me as a Parent" so many times it's a crime Another storytime?! b**h, now you're just lazy Even your therapist knows you're crazy You talk about roommates and Uber rides, you'd keep your nose out their business but it's hard at that size Typical Gab, three nose jokes in a row You're proving my point, so I guess I can go [Outro: The Gabbie Show] I'm sorry, kid, but you hit your peak You're your own biggest fan but your content's weak It's all downhill and your future's bleak, might as well make yourself showstopper of the week You know, people always comment on how it's cool that I have the same username on everything, like "thegabbieshow" on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, literally everything and if you really think about it, it's because, that's a thing because, nobody's ever cared enough to steal my handle. That's how irrelevant I am is nobody's ever tried to steal my username, so there's a silver lining on that Also, why are you always yelling?