The Futuristiks - Hold Back Tears lyrics

[Hook] This ain't about the money This ain't about the deal This ain't about the cars, or the hoes, or the whips Think you know, but you got no idea How hard this is trying to hold back tears [Verse 1] K, let's talk about my past Momma raised me a week without a dad Only six or seven i imagine we was bad Cause we got beat by every boyfriend she had With extension cords tearing flesh off of our a** Bleeding through our draws Blood leaking through our pants No wonder we couldn't sit still in cla** Til this day momma say it never happen Guess it's just bullsh** and Me and Rick imagine Either way i gotta two year old son Honestly momma's never asked about him once Never kissed him on his cheeks Never looked at him and smiled Maybe momma don't believe that the baby's even mine Momma watch me fight day and night just to be with him Maybe she hate him cause it's me that she see in him Had us both when she was only seventeen Guess we ruined momma's dreams of being homecoming queen Sorry momma but i never asked for this Not once did i asked to be your ba*tard kid Momma told me f** rap get a job But if i didn't sell dope we'd starve Now i got a deal Momma treat me like a star And she yet to ask me how i'm doing when she call Instead she tell me she want five new cars I just tell her yes ma'am and wipe the frown off my heart [Hook] (x2) [Verse 2] Say my brother's all i have We grew up together but we grew apart fast Our family portrait is torn in half And he blame me for all the hardship he's having I never knew why but he hate me with a pa**ion He feel neglected, he feel abandonned We don't get along now, we always clashing We use to be close though Don't now what happened I love him to d**h though, hope he don't attack me Don't understand why he got so much hatred Brother threatened to murder me on more than one occasion And that sh** hurts And that sh** k**s me Feelin' like my brother's gonna be the man that k**s me Some of the time, that my n***a, that's my guy When ever he high that's a whole 'nother side Doctor Jackyl, Mr. Hyde He's a whole 'nother guy And i know he mean it when i look into his eyes I'd k** for my brother Rob and steal for my brother I'd die where i stand for my brother And that's how i feel about my brother And Yet i still pray i don't die by the hands of my brother And i have nightmares that i gotta fight him back To keep him from hurting me I swear i don't like that And i'm gonna keep trying It might be a lost cause But i'd never let him go Just wipe the frown off my heart [Hook] (x2)