The Four Postmen - The Chainsaw Juggler lyrics

Whatever happened to the Chainsaw Juggler? He was a good friend of mine. And how did you learn to kiss like that? Said the man to his German shepherd It's not polite to talk when your mouth Is full of big bumblebees But it's quite okay to love your mom As long as you don't get her pregnant Everybody! La da dum, dee dee dee, dee dee dee La da dum, dee dee dee, dee dee dee! La da dum, dee dee dee, dee dee dee There's something wrong with this song! Cross my heart, yes. Stick a finger in my eye, no. But wife, I'm telling the truth I've slept with your sister, your mom and your dad, And the second-best s** was you Oh, Rub-A-Dub-Dub, three men in a tub Need I say more? Jack Sprat could eat no fat So he divorced her! Everybody! I know that there's something wrong with this song I just don't know what it could be Yes I know that there's something wrong with this song I just don't know what it could be Oh God that sounds bad Who's off? Drums? Acoustic guitar? (Not me, man) That was ba**, wasn't it? Aw crap. Are we ready? Here we go! Whatever happened to the Chainsaw Juggler? He was a good friend of mine I heard he died, but nobody cried Instead they all chopped off their arms! Oh well, when in Rome... Non compos mentis persona non grata In vino veritas ad hoc E Pluribus Unum, if to err is human Then boy, am I glad we're in charge! Oh, a Buddhist, a m**m, a nun and a Jew Were stuck in a hot-air balloon It suddenly popped, and though they prayed as it dropped It proves that God hates us all Everybody! La da dum, dee dee dee, dee dee dee La da dum, dee dee dee, dee dee dee! La da dum, dee dee dee, dee dee dee There's something wrong with this song! And as the wise man stood on top of the hill, naked and disgusting and dirty and naked He shouted down to the angry villagers far below He said, "You may have won the battle, but I'm....I'm...out of ammunition!" He said, "Life isn't a bowl of cherries, its...it's.......okay, maybe it is." He said, "It's not the size that counts, it's the woman that counts the size!" He said, "You can't sue yourself for writing an unauthorized autobiography!" He said, "If at first you don't succeed, well then maybe you're a...goddamn loser!" He said, "It's not whether you win or lose, it's whether I win or lose." He said, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water... Unless it's floating face down." He said, "If you can't beat 'em, let ME beat 'em!" He said, "You can tell a lot about a guy by how he strangles you!" And lastly he said, "Fight for peace! Make love , not war! Unless you love to k**!" Right! And as they stormed the mountain, and kicked him to d**h, he said one more thing... He said... "Ow! Ow! Stop kicking me! Ow, sh**! No, please! Not the head! Not in the skull! Ahh!" And as the Martian sat and waved from his driver seat window of his hovering Martian spaceship on his way back to Jupiter, he offered these parting words of advice... He said, "Do yourself a favor and stop this goddamn song!" But we couldn't.... Because we still didn't know... Whatever happened to the Chainsaw Juggler? He was a good friend of mine I heard he died, but nobody cried Instead they all chopped off their arms! Well, that sure makes sense, he was loved by his fans But tell me, how did he die? Nobody knows, they found him alone All bloody with his arms by his side Everybody! I know that there's something wrong with this song I just don't know what it could be La da dum, dee dee dee, dee dee dee There's something wrong with this something wrong with this something wrong with this Song