The Foremen - Privateers of the Public Airwaves lyrics

We're Privateers... of the Public Airwaves! (spoken) Beware, ye Public Broadcasters! We're comin' for to scuttle your scurvy membership We'll be about as subtle as a sloop upon a slip There ain't no damn rebu*tal what'll bu*ton up our lip Prepare to take a dip We're ravaging your culture, we're pillaging ad hoc Don't bother to consult yer stars or talk yer dandy talk For yonder be a vulture circling with a budget hawk So down the plank ye — Squawk! Audio-ho-ho! Video-ho-ho! You're sinkin' fast, you'll never last So stand avast, ye knaves! We're privateers... of the Public Airwaves! We wear a patch of black over both our pirate eyes We'll cut you with a Draconian saber down to size 'Cause we got our tobacco and our rum to subsidize Not to mention shakes and fries We're raisin' up our standard so you can lower yours We'll see you slashed and slandered and abandoned on the shores Then sail away to grander days and blander metaphors It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, bring on the media who*es! Audio-ho-ho! Video-ho-ho! You're sinkin' fast, you'll never last Another blast of our bombast So stand avast, ye knaves! We're privateers... of the Public Airwaves! We've carved a bucket o' blubber from every liberal lubber And to the bottom fought 'em as we wished 'em pleasant journey We're gaggin' every elitist and every Sesame Streetist We're throwin' Grover over and the same with Bert and Ernie (spoken) We believe in the three R's — Arr, Arr and Arr! And your many miscellanies, they haven't made a dent Can't stop a pirate when he's in a cutthroat sentiment We're pinchin' all your pennies 'cause we can't afford dissent You'll like it at the bottom, 'cause that's where the First Amendment Went Audio-ho-ho! Video-ho-ho! We'll split asunder, rape and plunder Send 'er under, and defund 'er Hear the thunder of our blunderbuss We're buckaneers Prick up yer friggin' ears May the market force be with ya Tough luck an' 'ere's to us!