When I was young, I used to be, As fine a man as ever you'd see, 'til the Prince of Wales, he said to me, Come and join the British army. Too-ra loo-ra loo-ra loo, They're lookin' for monkeys up in the zoo, And since when have I had a face like you? I'd join the British army. Sarah Comden baked a cake, It's all for poor old Slattery's sake, She threw meself into the lake, Pretendin' I was balmy. Too-ra loo-ra loo-ra loo, I've made me mind up what to do, Now I'll work me ticket home to you, And *pfft* the British army. Sergeant Heeley went away, And his wife got in the family way, And the only words that she could say, Was blame the British army. Too-ra loo-ra loo-ra loo, Me curse upon the Labour blue, That took me darlin' boy from me, To join the British army. Corporal Sheen's a turn o' the 'bout, Just give him a couple o' jars o' stout, He'll bake the enemy with his mouth, And save the British army. Too-ra loo-ra loo-ra loo, I've made me mind up what to do, Now I'll work me ticket home to you, And *pluck* the British army.