'Ah, misses mcgrath', the sergeant said 'Would you like to make a soldier out of your son ted With a scarlet coat and a big co*ked hat And misses mcgrath, wouldn't you like that? Wid yer toori al fol the diddle ah Toori oori oori ah Wid yer toori al fol the diddl eah Toori oori oori ah Well mrs mcgrath lived by the seashore For the space of seven long years or more Till she saw a big ship sailing into the bay 'Here's my son ted, will ye clear the way?' 'Ah captain dear, and where have you been? Have you been in the mediterranean? Will ye tell me the news of my son ted? Is the poor lad living now or is he dead?' Ah, well up comes ted without any legs And in their place he had two wooden pegs Well she kissed him a dozen times or two Saying: 'glory be to God, sure it couldn't be you' 'Ah then were ye drunk or were ye blind That ye left yer two fine legs behind? Or was it while walking on the sea A big fish ate yer legs from the knees away?' 'Well I wasn't drunk and I wasn't blind When I left my two fine legs behind But a big cannonball on the fifth of may Flow my two fine legs from the knees away' 'Ah teddy me boy', the poor widow cried 'Yer two fine legs were yer mummy's pride Them old stumps of a tree wouldn't do at all Why didn't ye run for the big cannonball?' 'Well all foreign wars I do proclaim Between don john and the king of spain And by herrings I'll make them rue the time That they shot the legs from a child of mine'