The Dubliners - Don't Get Married lyrics

Don't get married girls You'll sign away your life You may start off as a woman But you'll end up as the wife You could be a vestal virgin Take the veil and be a nun But don't get married girls For marriage isn't fun Oh it's fine when you're romancing And he plays the lover's part You're the roses in his garden You're the flame that warms his heart And his love will last forever And he'll promise you the moon But just wait until you're wedded Then he'll sing a different tune You're his tapioca pudding You're the dumplings in his stew But he'll soon begin to wonder What he ever saw in you Still he takes without complaining All the dishes you provide For you see he's got to have His bit of jam tart on the side So don't get married girls It's very badly paid You may start off as the mistress But you'll end up as the maid Be a daring deep sea diver Be a polished polyglot But don't get married girls For marriage is a plot Have you seen him in the morning With a face that looks like d**h With dandruff on his pillow And tobacco on his breath And he needs some rea**urance With his cup of tea in bed For he's worried by the mortgage And the bald patch on his head And he's sure that you're his mother Lays his head upon your breast So you try to boost his ego Iron his shirt and warm his vest Then you get him off to work The mighty hunter is restored And he leaves you there with nothing But the dreams you can't afford So don't get married girls Men are all the same They just use you when you need you You'd do better on the game Be a call girl, be a stripper Be a hostess, be a who*e But don't get married girls For marriage is a bore When he comes home in the morning He can hardly spare a look All he says is "what's for dinner?" After all you're just the cook But when he takes you to a party Well he eyes you with a frown For you know you've got to look your best You mustn't let him down All he'll clutch you with that "look what i've got" twinkle in his eyes Like he's entered for a raffle And he's won you for the prize Oh but when the party's over You'll be slogging through the sludge Half the time a decoration And the other half a drudge So don't get married It'll drive you round the bend It's the lane without a turning It's the end without an end Take a lover every friday Take up tennis, be a nurse But don't get married girls For marriage is a curse Then you get him off to work The mighty hunter is restored And he leaves you there with nothing But the dreams you can't afford