The Doveridge Mafia - Dom Porridge lyrics

Joe: Porritt got his bollucks whacked in Pe He was holding them all the way through Dt Porritt has no mates and is a c*nt That is why he is called a runt Porridge never comes out to play Porritt stays at home, scared to look away Porridge is always getting older And soon his hair will get much, much balder Rob: We have always hated Tom and called him a b**h Everytime he walks on to the pitch, He will ripped apart by Marcus Coombs He wears size 4 shoes like a runt And will always lose in Wembo like a big c*nt Watto: Tom Porritt Wealdstone raider: You've got no fans, You've got no fans Randy: Porritt, the runt, won't last the whole winter I liked Hamish's mum, so I shagged her All Tom wants to do is play some Football Even tho he can do f** all When he's angry, fellow runts he will summon He knows he will never have s** with a women However Dom dosen't care anyway For the rest of his life he wants to be gay Tom: There is a group in Doveridge called The Runts They are c*nts They sit there all day waiting to be helped But no, that's the lift a runt A little c*nt Alan Partridge: Oh well this is great banter, it really is Matty: He comes on the pitch Asking for a**istance Contributing nothing And offering runty little resistance Communicating in grunts And high pitch squeals That make you want to puke up your meals He is about 3 foot 5 tall And is weak and loses every brawl Toms a runt and although he won't admit it Porridge really is a little sh** Ben: A runt like Porritt has no friends And will continue to until his life ends A runt will get beaten up everyday And isn't worth any of my first aid Porridge is always scared and will always hide Don't expect him to put up a fight George: The puney runts are ropey And act hard, like a stokie The runty ropey breeders Scurry off to the artroom Getting runted off the ball By the bigguns, that are far more tall Howard: I know a runt Who acts like a c*nt His name is Tom Porritt And he's the size of a Hobbitt And there he is the little f**er Sitting down and eating pucka... pies With the intention and contention To be bigger and stronger and higher Not smaller As a birthday treat his mrs let him stick it up who counthole It did not work so tried to put it in the mouthhole She cried a blead but Porritt laughed And said no more, I'll slap a who*e And go home with the back door behind my a** hole Phillipa: What do you want in your sandwiches Rob Bradley: Porrrrrrrrriiiiiittttttttttttttt Phillipa: Porritt joined us for a 3 hour sandwich Phillipa: Daddy Porritt hurt me Rob Bradley: Porrrrriiiiittttttt I said poooooorrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiitttttt O.T Genesis: I'm in love with the... Reado: Runt