Take the national express when your life's in a mess It'll make you smile All human life is here From the feeble old dear to the screaming child From the student who knows that to have one of those Would be suicide To the family man Manhandling the pram with paternal pride And everybody sings "ba ba ba da..." We're going where the air is free On the national express there's a jolly hostess Selling crisps and tea She'll provide you with drinks and theatrical winks For a sky-high fee Mini-skirts were in style when she danced down the aisle Back in '63 (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah) But it's hard to get by when your arse is the size Of a small country And everybody sings "ba ba ba da..." We're going where the air is free Tomorrow belongs to me When you're sad and feeling blue With nothing better to do Don't just sit there feeling stressed Take a trip on the national express