The Devil Makes Three - Help Yourself lyrics

Even the devil was an angel before he tried to rush the throne Lord, they threw him down in hell there all alone and now he builds a castle out of the sinners' bones You'd be angry too if you could never go home Well now, I ain't no preacher, no preacher man's son I done some bad things but I like to have my fun A thousand ways to heaven, a thousand ways to hell Well I say, the good Lord helps those that help themselves So help yourselves now Old man Nicodemus could not make his heart believe He could see that Jesus had some tricks up his sleeve Said now, Oh man, Jesus I can't do things your way But I can see you work with somebody big, so I'm backing your play Old man Nicodemus, his pockets they were deep But on the day the Romans decided to put Jesus to sleep Jesus could not care for money now or any such thing Old Nicodemus paid to have Jesus just buried like a king Well now, I ain't no preacher, no preacher man's son I done some bad things but I like to have my fun A thousand ways to heaven, a thousand ways to hell Well I say, the good Lord helps those that help themselves So help yourselves now Our father art in heaven hallowed be thy name Told Noah "build a boat" on the driest of days And everybody in the neighborhood said old Noah was insane I guess when the waters receded now, the truth was plain Well now, I ain't no preacher, no preacher man's son I done some bad things but I like to have my fun A thousand ways to heaven, a thousand ways to hell Well I say, the good Lord helps those that help themselves So help yourselves now Moses was a great man, parted the waters of the Red Sea Down the road to Egypt, he made sure the slaves were free Well he could speak to God, so they say, yes indeed Well the noise of his voice would have made our poor ears bleed Moses, he had an army I tell you all his own They stood in circles outside his very home and when the the Pharaohs got to k**ing they left old moses alone but the Romans drove their nails through old Jesus' bones Well now, I ain't no preacher, no preacher man's son I done some bad things but I like to have my fun Why they got Jesus now and not Moses, who can tell? But they do say, the good Lord helps those that help themselves So help yourselves now --- This is pretty close to correct. - Ryan