The County Medical Examiners - Y-shaped Thoracoabdominalincision lyrics

...Alphabetic diagram... ...Of the gross exam... Medical examiners are detectives, who forensically sift through a body of evidence It's rarely simple, as you can see...the organs are on the inside We open up the corpse to find the clues that point to an explanation that might make sense Let's crack the cadaver open for a little peek and document what we find... ...With scalpel in hand... ...I hatch the plan... Whether man, woman, child-the procedure is always the same Beginning the medicolegal autopsy isn't very hard The thoracoabdominal incision is the name of this turgidly morbid game And the letter "Y" is the shape that we must carve... All ME's worth their salt keep a blade of their own And have their scalpel professionally sharpened, polished, and honed Because of its ability to cut through skin, meat, gristle, and bone We keep track of it from the opening of the corpse to when it is sewn... ...I must confess... ...This will make a mess... ...The stiff is ripe and putrefied... ...I scalpel the mephitic skin... ...And trace the letter "Y"... ...So the autopsy begins... In order to field dress this cadaver we cut from the bottom of the neck to above the crotch Some pathologists prefer to first puncture the bloated corpse to release built-up methane gas Simply grasp the scalpel and apply downward pressure at the jugular notch You'll find the skin will slice like bu*ter, revealing subcutaneous tissue and ballooning yellow fat... ...No time to flinch... ...Only amateurs cringe... Draw the blade down over the body of the sternum and breastplate Past the manubrium and xiphoid process and costoxiphoid ligament group Split the rectus abdominal muscle without a measure of haste Then stop and wipe your brow and take a moment to recoup... Peel back the flayed skin and shear it from the muscle sides Taking the retractors, spread the carca** wide Costal cartilage snaps from each of the ribs so we may look inside The inner organs sit on display-glistening-with nothing to hide... ...You've earned your degree... ...In the art of necropsy... ...The stiff is ripe and putrefied... ...I scalpel the mephitic skin... ...And trace the letter "Y"... ...So the autopsy begins...