Well I've been a Sunday driver noo for many's a happy year And I've never had my Morris Minor oot o' second gear I can drive at fifty miles an hour on motorway or track With me wife up front beside me and her mother in the back There was me and my daddy and my daddy's mammy And her sister's Granny and four of her chums And Auntie Jean In a crowd of fifty trippers you can always pick me oot By my "Don't blame me, I voted Tory" sticker on the boot Wi' my bunch of heather stickin' in ma radiator grille And me stick-on transfer bullet holes and licence for tae k** There was me and my daddy and my daddy's mammy And her sister's Granny and four of her chums And Auntie Peg I've a hundred plastic pennants for to tell you where I've been And my steering wheel is clad in simulated leopard-skin Up front fae the drivin' mirror hangs a plastic skeleton And in the back a dog wi' eyes that flicker off and on! There was me and my daddy and my daddy's mammy And her sister's Granny and four of her chums And Auntie May I always drive as though my foot was restin' on the brake And I weave aboot the road just so's ye cannae overtake I can get ye sae frustrated that ye'll finish up in tears And the sound of blarin' motor horns is music to my ears! There was me and my daddy and my daddy's mammy And her sister's Granny and four of her chums And Auntie Liz Now if ye wonder how these weekly trips I can afford It's because I'm on a stipend from the Scottish Tourist Board You're supposed tae enjoy the scenery, the finest of it's kind And that is why I have a convoy followin' behind! There was me and my daddy and my daddy's mammy And her sister's Granny and four of her chums And Auntie Rose There's just no way of escaping me, no matter how ye seek For the simple fact that I'm a traffic warden through the week I'm boostin' my efficiency, and here's my master plan I'm savin' up my pennies for to buy a Caravan There was me and my daddy and my daddy's mammy And her sister's Granny and four of her chums And Auntie Gertrude There was me and my daddy and my daddy's mammy And her sister's Granny and four of her chums Yer gaun too fast