The Boss Hog Barbarians - The Weight Debate lyrics

[Verse 1: J-Zone] Damn girl You used to have a Coke bottle shape, carbonated as well Cause you was bubbling, s**y as hell Matter of fact, they called you Coke bottle Crystal Now they just call yo a** Gristle See I made the mistake of getting engaged And you went and got too comfortable and put on some weight But five or ten pounds I ain't trip Tell the truth you look a little more fly when you thick But all of this cable, french fries and chips Now you weigh more than me and you five foot, six sh**, I mean pretzels is fat-free but ho dag Calories still count and b**h, you ate the whole bag I tried positive reinforcement, long walks Bought a gym membership so we can get into sports But it back-fired and since that day You only use my membership to hit the gym cafe Do a mile hike if you eat a Klondike, baby At first I thought you were pregnant but nah, you just lazy And a glutton, what a mismatch, now we unique We look like the number 10 when we walk in the street Side by side, got wide and the s** drive died Cause when you take your clothes off, you built like a nose guard Ding Dongs and coleslaw stacked on the shelf You could go to South Beach and meet Atkins himself You don't care so you got no chance at all And you a Kit Kat away from being Rosanne Barr My dick used to get all chubby when I see you Went from hot ho to hippo, now I'm ready to leave you For better or for worse, now all your friends are mad at me But ya'll be eating donuts like your fresh out the academy I'm a Boss Hog but this is too much hogging You allergic to jogging, damn I think we got a problem My girl had a threesome: her, Ben & Jerry's She went from Halle Berry to "Refrigerator" Perry When I first met her, brothers stared at her Now she quick to hit the buffet, scared of the Stairmaster Don't need to be a stick figure Nah, never that But be a hundred pounds within the weight that I met you at Some say for me to take back my ring is wrong Another day, another Ding Dong *Doorbell* [J] Come in, it's open [C] Yo [J] Oh sh**, Celph. What up, hog? Chillin'? [C] Yeah, what up man? [J] Yo, Celph you remember my girlfriend Lisa, right? Lisa, your remember my homeboy Celph? [L] What's up? [C] Fo' sho [J] Yo Celph, what the hell are you smiling at man, you look like you won a million dollars [Verse 2: Celph-Titled] No disrespect hog, but I gotta speak my mind Your little feline looking mighty fine And see I'm digging her size now Big round a** and big round a** thighs, wow! Let me set the record straight I'm the type of guy that like a fat bird who ain't ashamed of her weight I ain't talking nasty slobs or those super-sized b**hes Just a big and thick chick that know she delicious She know she s**y in her thong or lingerie Even though the size that she wear ain't always in the window on display Ain't a fetish or a fad that I'm stressing Cause I been showing big girls affection since I got my first erection But uhh, enough of that, let's stop f**ing around I been scoping your lady since she been putting on pounds Them sweat pants she got on, must have had since eighteen Cause I can see stretch marks through the stretch parts of the seams It's a marvelous thing the way she got a soft belly Wide waist measurements, why hate? It's evident That she was b-cup now she double d-ing up She ain't your type now Zone, homey your lease is up I just came by to write songs and rap a little But I can't focus when I'm watching all that fat jiggle Don't mind the cellulite not one bit She not one bit thick but she one b**h I'd hit With them thick a** hips, even gained weight in her lips Without the collagen just them collard greens and I'm promising That I got a love jones and I can't help it Can't take it no more with fat girls I'm selfish Just as long as she stay chubby I stay getting a chubby And if she ever tries a diet she can find a new hubby So there you have it, signed, sealed, stamped and delivered I'm sorry J, but I hope you understand me my n***a [J-Zone] Uh huh, congratulations it looks like we got a winner Dog you can date her so long as you buy dinner No longer a lover, nowadays she a eater I ain't trippin' you could f** her so long as you feed her There she is on the couch eating chicken, go and meet her She gaining by the month so you can dump that two-seater Buy a Mac truck, hit her fat bu*t in the back seater And be sure to keep some Haagen Dazs stocked in the freezer Good luck