The Blue Aeroplanes - Bagpipe Music lyrics

It's no go the merry-go-round It's no go the rickshaw All we want is a limousine And a ticket for the feature Their knickers are made of crêpe de chine Their shoes are made of pylon Their halls are lined with tiger roach And their walls and legs are bisons John McDonald found a corpse Put it under the sofa Waited till it came to life Then hit it with a poker Sold it's eyes for souvenirs Sold it's blood for whisky Kept it's bones for dumbbells To use when he was fifty It's no go the Odeon It's no go Gavati All we want is a bank balance And a bit of skirt in a taxi Fanny McDougall went to milk Caught her foot in the heather Went to hear a dance record Playing of old Vienna It's no go your maidenheads It's no go your culture All we want is a Dunlop tyre And the Devil to mend the puncture The Laird of Dulse spent Hogmanay Declaring he was sober Counted his feet to prove the fact And found he had one foot over Mrs. Carmichael had a fit Vented her job in repulsion Said to the midwife 'Take it away' and threw it over production It's no go the gossip coin It's no go the daily All we want is a mother's help And a sugar stick for the baby Willy Murray cut his thumb Couldn't count the damage Took the hide of an Ayrshire cow And used it for a bandage His brother caught three hundred Cram When the seas were lavish Threw the bleeders back in the sea And went upon the parish And it's no go the Herring ball It's no go the Bible All we want is a packet of f*gs When our hands are idle There's no go the Winter Palace It's no go the stadium It's no go the pansy cop With a pot of pink Geraniums It's no go the government grant It's no go the elections Sit on your arse for fifty years And free your heart on a pension It's no Jeremi, Hemming love It's no go my poppet Work your hands from day to day The winds will blow the prophet The gla** is falling hour by hour The gla** will fall for ever But if you break the bloody gla** You won't hold up the weather