The Bedroom Philosopher - Jesus On Big Brother lyrics

Jesus was an intruder on Big Brother As soon as he came on Two million homes around Australia Adjusted the brightness on their TV sets Within a week he'd won the house over They found him kind genuine pa**ionate artistic And he made a divine pasta bake Out of next to nothing He cracked jokes for all ages and races He played air banjo And sang songs about freeing the refugees He got down on his knees Within two weeks Mooks had brought out the urban robe Sandals were back in And kids were wearing halos to school The TV ratings broke all the records More people watched Jesus than The Simpsons and the news and The CSIs combined He was on the cover of all the magazines Priests were constantly being hounded by reporters Wanting the dirt Church attendances doubled then tripled People brought in signs that said John 3:16 and Jesus is emo He was the talk of the school yard The topic of the offices Jesus was the debate of all the panel shows Thousands of homes had flashing Christian crosses in their windows Bible sales reached biblical proportions Meanwhile Christians watched the media circus in awe Just when it seemed that Jesus couldn't get any more popular The remaining housemates began to plot against him For they knew that he would win Unless they all agreed to nominate him The biggest complaint made against Jesus was that he was too nice And a bit preachy While it appeared that he had the hearts of all Australians on his side Jesus mysteriously gained the majority of votes And was evicted After leaving the Big Brother house Jesus refused all interviews Auctioned his possessions for charity And went into hiding Viewers were devastated Some kept their TV sets off for three days As a sign of respect But then three weeks later Jesus returned With his own prime time controversial TV show Everybody Loves Jesus And it out-rated Big Brother three to one He then released a hit single Godilicious And my little cousin Knows all the words