[Verse 1] Your 'fight them on the beaches' speeches make me despair Cause if there's one thing we can guarantee is you will not he there Tidying your room, making up your bed And if your diary's full that week you'll send us lot instead [Pre-Chorus 1] Send us lot instead, put a poppy by my lovers bed We believe you when you say you've hurt your back [Chorus] Have you ever been away? Where were you when we took Calais? (I don't know, I don't care I'm just glad that I wasn't there) (You don't know, you don't care You're just glad that you wasn't there) Have you ever been away? (I don't know, I don't care I'm just glad that I wasn't there) [Verse 2] I'm afraid your Rule Britannia mania doesn't ring so true If I was captain of the waves I'd turn the gun on you Any last requests before you join dead? I'll crap into your Union Jack and wrap it round your head [Pre-Chorus 2] Wrap it round your head, take a look at all the blood we've shed We'll believe you when you say it was worth it [Chorus] [Bridge] Liberate the streets of Europe, give our kids a chance Give them Beaujolais by tap and cheap day trips to France But you have never seen or smelt this ungodly d**h It's like the stench of roasted lamb upon your father's breath [Outro] (I don't know, I don't care I'm just glad that I wasn't there) (You don't know, you don't care You're just glad that you wasn't there) Have you ever been away? (I don't know, I don't care I'm just glad that I wasn't there) Aw, Have you ever been away? (I don't know, I don't care I'm just glad that I wasn't there) Have you e-e-e-eeee? (I don't know, I don't care I'm just glad that I wasn't there) (I don't know, I don't care I'm just glad that I wasn't there) Oh, you don't know (I don't know, I don't care I'm just glad that I wasn't there) No, you don't care (I don't know, I don't care I'm just glad that I wasn't there) You don't know, you don't care You don't know Ooh, you don't care You don't know, you don't care (I don't know, I don't care I'm just glad that I wasn't there) (I don't know, I don't care I'm just glad that I wasn't there) (I don't know, I don't care I'm just glad that I wasn't there) (I don't know, I don't care I'm just glad that I wasn't there)