Guard your body with the best barbed wire And ward off foe with the fiercest of fire But let love unguarded into the strangest of nights Wear your dresses like they're up for hire And leave them with your humour in the tumble dryer And watch yourself stumble down a lane with no lights School like life turns some men into mice What you need now is a little piece of mouse advice Well they say be wary of strangers Especially if they offer you sweets But there ain't no government health warning On half the mad f**ers you meet Save yourself personal tradegy Go back to the man with the sweets Do yourself schooling favour Head back to the man with the sweets Those who feared cancer never had much to say They bored us at parties onto forty a day They forced us into corners and onto forty a day The dentiist's chair is the only time That anybody ever looks at their mouth Let the dentist give their teeth something to chatter about School like life turns some men into mice To avoid the rat-trap take the mouse's advice Well they say be wary of strangers Especially if they offer you sweets But there ain't no government health warning On half the mad f**ers you meet Save yourself personal tradegy Go back to the man with the sweets Do yourself schooling favour Head back to the man with the sweets