The Beautiful South - Property Quiz lyrics

All the secrets we have shared Have moved to a couple better paired So if he impales himself on javelin or spike I will try my best to be the perfect lookalike And if he wants to be smart And enter a property quiz Every weed in the garden's mine but the lawnmower's his Every weed in the garden's mine but the lawnmower's his And if his manhood needs the help of scaffold or even a winch I will gladly supplement that extra little inch And if it ever reaches tie-break at the property quiz If they've got my fingerprints on, they're my tits and fanny not his If they've got my fingerprints on, they're my not his Now you've found someone new May I watch him do what I used to do So if he dies an ugly d**h or even if he faints I'll be there at the window with my face pressed up against Maybe I shouted too loud Maybe you were blissfully deaf But I hope he's a better sport than he was a ref I hope he's a better sport than he was a ref And if his manhood needs the help of scaffold or even a winch I will gladly supplement that extra little inch And if it ever reaches tie-break at the property quiz If they've got my fingerprints on, they're my tits and fanny not his If they've got my fingerprints on, they're my not his I hope he likes to fly And is a good host to every guest 'Cause there's less chance of dying in a crash than being bored to d**h Yes there's less chance of dying in a crash than being bored to d**h And if his manhood needs the help of scaffold or even a winch I will gladly supplement that extra little inch And if it ever reaches tie-break at the property quiz If they've got my fingerprints on, they're my tits and fanny not his If they've got my fingerprints on, they're my not his Now you've found someone new