Bearded men listen to me We were once proud we were once free Let us not forget our history Whoa oh Someday we will find a place Where beards are welcome on our face Together we'll create a bearded race Whoa oh We'll start a Bearded Nation A Bearded population This is our aspiration This is an invitation This join our congregation To join our Bearded Nation Our new found society Will be built on equality All our education will be free Whoa oh The bearded will walk hand in hand The biggest beard will rule the land All shaving devices will be banned Whoa oh In our Bearded Nation Our Bearded population This is our aspiration This is an invitation This join our congregation To join our Bearded Nation Someday we'll all be there In the land of facial hair Each bearded man's needs fulfilled Doctors' fees will be bulk-billed The beardless will be rounded up and k**ed We'll take them to an institution Where they'll face state execution By firing squad or electrocution So join our Bearded Nation Our Bearded population Our bearded operation It's not an invitation It is an expectation You'll join our bearded nation And if you don't agree With our autocracy You'll be charged with treachery And gunned down in the street Bearded Nation Our bearded operation This is our aspiration It's not an invitation To join our congregation You'll join our bearded nation