The Beards - If Your Dad Doesn't Have a Beard, You've Got Two Mums lyrics

Remember when you were 14 Your dad taught you to shave That wasn't a very fatherly way For him to behave You had to watch your first beard Melting down the drain A beard abandoned a son betrayed [Chorus] Your Dad taught you how And look at you now 'Cos if your dad doesn't have a beard You've got two Mums Two beardless Mums If your Dad doesn't have a beard You've got two Mums Two beardless Mums Remember how he watched Your face lathered with cream The mirror fogging over As the bathroom filled with steam He put the razor in your hand And said now let's begin Shave with short quick strokes my son And head towards the chin Ooh! [Chorus] Oh, you've got two bearless mums, yeah You know I can't stand to see a child Put through that much pain when he knows That he'll never see his first beard again And you know that there is No greater crime against the human race Than when a father takes a razor to his own son's face Owwww Your dad taught you how You're just like him now 'Cos if your dad doesn't have a beard (dad doesn't have a beard) You've got two Mums Two beardless Mums (beardless Mums) Oh if your Dad doesn't have a beard (dad doesn't have a beard) You've got two stupid-looking beardless f**ing Mums [Chorus] Two beardless Mums, yeah Two beardless Mums, all right! Two beardless Mums (two beardless Mums) Two beardless Mums, woo! Two beardless Mums...