The Arrogant Worms - William Shakespeare's In My Cat lyrics

I never much believed in reincarnation Thought it was only people's imagination But now I'm forced into some reconsideration 'Cause something's happened to my cat That deserves some explanation William Shakespeare's in my cat My kitty is the bard He used to be a playwright Now he's digging up the yard He's still a cat in most respects He likes to meow and purr But now I introduce him as the cat That wrote Richard the third I took him to see Phantom He said it was quite nice But he can't go see Miss Saigon Until he k**s some mice (Until he k**s some mice) William Shakespeare's in my cat It sometimes seems so deep The guy who wrote Twelfth Night Chews on my socks while I'm asleep I'm really quite impressed I own the cat who wrote MacBeth But if something's rotten in this state It's just his fishy breath 'Cause he wrote Romeo and Juliet But his greatest story yet Is coming back as someone's pet And gettin' neutered by the vet He got his paws caught in a net Then he said to be or not to meeeow! William Shakespeare's in my cat He rarely ever talks He makes his loudest statements Standing in the litter box He sleeps on all my shelves And throws my books about the house It doesn't sound like prose When he bats his squeaky mouse Sam Beckett's plays are witty, Same thing for Bernard Shaw, Oscar Wilde is pretty, But none of them have paws (None of them have paws) William Shakespeare's in my cat He chases bits of fluff John Milton's in my goldfish But I never liked his stuff I'm thinking that Franz Kafka Really came back as a bug And I hope Andrew Lloyd Webber Will stay underneath my rug 'Cause he wrote Romeo and Juliet But his greatest story yet Is coming back as someone's pet And gettin' neutered by the vet He got his paws caught in a net Then he said to be or not to meeeow! Take it, Trevor! (Trevor's solo on what sounds like a Jew's-Harp-style instrument) He wrote Romeo and Juliet But his greatest story yet Is coming back as someone's pet And gettin' neutered by the vet He got his paws caught in a net Then he said to be or not to meeeow!