When you hear that I'm a cowboy and I work the cattle trail You probably a**ume I'm big and tough (big and tough) But the trail's worn me down, I don't wanna hang around I've just about had enough (had enough) You see, I like a cup of espresso And I like to read my People magazine I coordinate my chaps but everybody laughs And say they don't like that shade of green Oh no, it's true I'm a sensitive cowboy and I don't know what to do Oh no, it's kinda strange I'm the last sensitive cowboy on the range Well I try to eat a healthy balanced diet But they all eat their brown beans from the can They all have to smoke about six packs a day You'd think they was the Marlboro Man (*gasp* smooth *cough*) And they don't like to go to see the opera On Friday nights when they get paid And they don't help me bring in the hanging plants Every time there's a Native American raid Oh no, it's true I'm a sensitive cowboy and I don't know what to do Oh no, it's kinda strange I'm the last sensitive cowboy on the range Cowboy life sure is different these days. Why brand yer cattle when you can just use bovine psychology? Why have a gunfight when there are so many good paralegals out there? Nobody drinks and bushwhacks any more. Besides, we're all switchin' over to eatin' salt-reduced tofu jerky. And if yer gonna ride off into the sunset, make sure yer usin' an effective sunblock. Oh no, it's true I'm a sensitive cowboy and I don't know what to do Oh no, it's kinda strange I'm the last sensitive cowboy on... Oh no, it's true I'm a sensitive cowboy and I don't know what to do Oh no, it's kinda strange I'm the last sensitive cowboy on the range