The Arrogant Worms - k** The Dog Next Door lyrics

I once was a happy man Of sound and stable mind Then my neighbour got a dog He put a ribbon on its head To make it cute But it still looked like A Chihuahua He had me over To watch it sit and beg It bit my knee And made love to my leg Now it barks all the night And all of the day Whenever it's not peeing on my lawn I didn't get to sleep last night Till very late The stupid dog barked And grred I got up late And ran to catch the bus But I slipped on a turd I was certain It wasn't one of mine That that dog Had crossed over the line I wanted to exterminate It and all its kind From my lovely little suburb I'm gonna k** the dog next door Ain't gonna bark anymore 'Cause this is judgment day The little runt has got to pay No more turds on my lawn That stupid mutt will soon be gone I'm gonna k** k** k** k** k** k** k** that dog I see the little monster In my garden So I grab an axe and off I go And I try my best to get it All I do is sever my big toe My neighbour comes Outside to calm me He says his dog and me Should just be friends He puts his little pet In my forgiving hands THEN it starts to bite So I strangle it with all my might Oh oh oh oh ohhhhh I'm gonna k** the dog next door Ain't gonna bark anymore 'Cause this is judgment day The little runt has got to pay No more turds on my lawn That stupid mutt will soon be gone I'm gonna k** k** k** k** k** k** k** that dog Now the stupid mutt's In doggie heaven I strangled it to d**h And now I'm free But my trouble ain't Quite over My neighbour called The cops on me I end up at The police station Where I am told That I must pay A three hundred Dollar fine (*long pause*) WOW!! What a good value! I think I'll k** my neighbour too! Oh oh oh oh ohhhhh! I'm gonna k** the guy next door Won't call the cops anymore I never liked him anyway Three hundred isn't much to pay! There are turds on my lawn They must be his, his dog is gone I'm gonna k** k** k** k** k** k** k** k** k** k** k** k** k** k** k** k** k** k** that guy