The Adventures of Duane & BrandO - Zelda II lyrics

Once upon a time in the land of Hyrule Everyone was okay and everything was cool Until the Dark Prince Ganon appeared and said: "NOOOO!" That's right! And now everything's great And it's almost my sixteenth birthday Now all of a sudden I got a mark on my hand (You must find the Triforce of Courage!) Not again! Let's open up the door to the North Palace Now I'm reading this ancient scroll, so calloused Zelda fell asleep a long time ago? Is it the same Zelda? Am I the same Link? (Who knows?) This game is so confusing When the hell does it take place? (I don't know!) Which Zelda did I rescue? Where the hell's my boomerang? (I don't know!) You and everybody else in the world, Duane You know I love this game, bro, I ain't complaining So, I guess I'll just type in my name Just pretend its the same game, switch my mind-frame It's a whole new game, it's no contest, G I'm making this a conquest, don't question me You see, this game doesn't get enough notoriety So let's do this f**ing thing before I just play three The name's Link, but you already know I got the flow and the know-how The wisdom and the power (Let's go!) I bet the townsfolk can help me on my tedious quest "Get candle in Parapa Palace. Go west." Okay... (Liar!) We all know it's in the East Plenty of beasts, but I got my shield spell at least Rest in peace as I stab you in your face I got six different crystals to open the gate To the Valley of d**h and fight the guardian that awaits To get the Triforce of Courage, wish Zelda back awake Clean slate, recreate Relate with no hate Replace it with my Magical Shield and this blade I walked off the path and I was unprepared I've got one heart and monsters are everywhere (Bullsh**! That just ain't fair. Shut the f** up, Ganon! Nobody cares...) (A little frustrated, BrandO?) Only a c*nt hair You ain't seen sh**, I got the strength of a bear That has the strength of ten gorillas, I'll k** you dead I got a sh**-ton of spells, but I think that I'll stab you instead I'll fight mightily until everything is alright I am the Hero of Time, and now it's time to say goodnight Well I made it to the palace, I got nothin' to lose Riding up and down on these elevators (Awesome, dude!) I gotta find the key to open up these doors, first Before I lift this curse that's been put on this earth I'll stab that f**ing Horsehead and put him on my wall Helmethead ain't gonna be a f**ing problem at all That ghost riding Rebonack licks ghost horse balls Reflect Carock's spells, brawl with Gooma, and make Barba fall I'll k** 'em all, b**h, Thunderbird is a joke! I'll cast Fire, and the smoke from your face will make you choke So don't provoke me, I'm focused on k**ing every one of you Bring back the peace and wake the princess, why you running dude? Come here and get what's coming to you Bring it on, b**h! I'll split your f**ing face apart and cook it like an omelette I'm on top of it, there ain't no stopping this sh** I'll leave your runnin' a** "Walken" like your name was Chris Nanaki's View in this track, Chris is rockin' them sh**s Bringing me straight though the battle ripping guitar licks (Ha ha!) You know that I will save you I'm made to I'm breaking through You know that I have faith, Link I'll wait, Link I'll wait for you You have no choice, Love I know that you'll rescue me, this is our destiny I hear your voice, Love I've only just met you but something inside of me Drives me on, so I battle Who are you? I'm your shadow! I come from the darkness, your blasphemous side Created by hatred and eyes in the sky After I beat you, I'll live in your mind And use the Triforce to bring Ganon to life Look in my eyes, we are one of a kind Same moves, same tights, same f**ing drive You underestimate me, me, I've got us all figured out So go and swing into the air like during me and Ganon's last bout Shout for your mama, Shadow, fear my light I'm like a lightning storm, frightening you, haunting your night You're just a shadow of the best there ever was and ever will be I'll make you look like f**ing Peter Pan, you'll never k** me No, I know all your moves, and I feel all your pain! You're a slave to the princess, a f**ing shame! Hyrule could be ours, take my hand We can rule the kingdom, devour the land You'll never defeat me, you know that I'm right You're a servant, a pawn, and you're living a lie I'm gonna live and let you die, b**h, cause I don't need you I think I'll just crouch down over here and stab your knees, dude Stabby stab stab, how you like that sh**? I'm gonna call you Error cause you're f**ing useless I'll bet your knees are more sore than a Flint-Town who*e And when I'm finished with you, well, maybe I'll score I just beat the game! Yes, I did! You saved Hyrule, and you're a real hero I know right? (That's right!) I got zero fear, ho Yo, check it out, princess, give me a kiss You know you can't resist these lips, watch this When the curtain goes down, Link's goin' up Oh, stop yourself Well excuse- Shut up! There's only one way to shut me up, I mean besides We're brother and sister in the next game, right? (For real.) I guess you've got a point...