The Adventures Of Duane And BrandO - Dragon Warrior lyrics

I'm gonna club you in the teeth with my bamboo stick. I'm dressed up in leather, with a shield ancestor of Erdrick. On a quest to bring peace to the land that we're livin' in. On a mission to hit the Dragonlord with my fist. I've got a pocket full of herbs for when I'm powerin' up. Found Erdrick's Armor near the tree and punched a Wraith in the nuts. I learned a couple of magic tricks, you can call me Houdini. I saved the Princess like a motherf**er, barely competing. And now she's all over my ba**sack like stink on sh**. But I got more important things to do, so f** that b**h. See ya later King Lorik, thanks for savin' my state. Sorry I can't stay for dinner but I'm gonna be late. The Dragon Warrior, baby. Drivin' the ladies all crazy. Dudes wearin' armor despite me they are all jealous they ain't me. I'm on a mission to k**, I'll punch that b**h in the grill. Cut every f**in' finger off until he's beggin', I will. I'm on my way to the motherf**in' castle. With this new sword, gonna be f**in' them up. Level 22 Master, f**in' up ba*tards. With this steel ring that I found in the trunk. And nobody's gonna touch my style. So infantile, to think you'll be f**in' with me. Gonna drink this forty O, throw some bows. Kick your a** into the tree. b**h please, I'mma punch them sh**s, kick them sh**s. Use some Hurtmore on that b**h. f** yeah, I'mma wring their neck, put 'em in check. Then bust my damn chick. With this quarter pounder bro, make her moan. Send her a** f**in' home. But right now I'mma grab that b**h and hit them sh**s in the back with my FO FO. I'm goin' through the cave with a torch in my hand. Fightin' off these motherf**ers like a man with a plan. I found a secret entrance way, in the back of the throne. The stupid f**in' Axe Knight better leave me alone. Or I'mma break his damn legs in three places, for real. Take his sh** and hit his f**in' torso with my shield. Oh sh** I'm bein' stared at. Come here Wizard. Now this time I'll fight back. I'll break that. Got this sword, you can fall down 'cause b**h you're whack. And every time my f**in' hits'll make you die like that. Oh no my torch went out, I gotta save my spells. Aww, what the hell. Radiant; I'm almost out any way. Finally I found the exit way to this maze. And now I'm approachin' Dragon Lord with some words to say. Somebody better dig him a grave. For real. You ready motherf**er? Well try this on for size, b**h. Punch to the face, kick to the shins. Use some Healmore, now let me begin. You're deader than sh**, it's only fair to warn. Until you show your true form. Now I'm blockin' and kickin' I can't f**in' get it. I barely got any spells left. I thought I was winnin'. I guess I was forgettin' the power of his fire breath. As I fall to the ground, I think of the town. How in the f** could I let all these nice people down?