Nobody's doing the job they want to be doing Don't you see that's the whole problem? The waiter wants to be an actor And the dentist wants to be a violinist The lawyer wants to be just about anything but a lawyer But still make a fortune and live off the interest The baby wants to be a big girl And the teacher wants to be a performer The dancer used to be the thing she always wanted to be But now she's the maitre d' The businessman wants to be a musician And the housewife wants to be a magician The doctor doesn't want to be a physician But the restaurateur now he's found a cure For the nine to five blues But the messenger he doesn't want to bring the news The bus driver wants to win the lottery And the thief has to be what he's gotta be And nobody wants to be a bum The piano player wants to beat the drum Mostly everybody thinks they'd like to be a star Except celebrities in magazines you read That say how difficult it is to be the thing they are And that something else is really what they need.