Tchakalla - Body Burning lyrics

My mom called sounding way too sounding way too nice Talking way too slow, way too crushed Speaking way too long, sentence drag on Ended with the word "biopsy" Shannon called, said "Hey" I said "Hi" Then she started to cry I'm standing at the window looking up into the sky Told her not to worry but my mind racing with the words "why not me", I Got home with a secret in the air The way they all stared The pair of my parents brought me up and told me there And my eyeballs leaked Warm on my cheek So I hide behind the sheet He came up, and he climbed in Wrapped him tight, and we both wept Which I won't forget, cause at thirteen He told me it would be okay Like I- was the one Who'd be, dead in a short twenty months Who'd be, pumped full of chemotherapy My body burning up like the sun Who'd be, having dreams that it was Christmastime And we found out he had days to live So my parents said, "Hey, well that's alright, now I guess that we can return his gifts" And in the same dream, he watched me and her Open presents up, on the twenty-fifth But it was six months later on the twenty-fourth He last exhaled, no buts, ands, or ifs And if I wrote like the child that I was before I'd probably say he pa**ed like a spliff If I felt like the child that I was before I'd probably try to jump off a cliff But I watched him fight, so hard To be alive's just as much a burden As it is a blessing Want to close the book with a Smith and Wesson But the page is turning I ain't ask for this, I ain't want to be born But I'm in too deep to be cut off now They think I don't get it. Nobody Hit the emergency shut-off valve I tell them "I don't want your f**ing advice Used to carry my little brother up twelve stairs Like every night, seven nights Catastrophic coverage on health care You need to know that you're wasting your breath Go talk to someone you can still mold My homies think they need to guide my steps No offense you ain't know what I know I think I know what I'm doing (hey, hey, hey) I know what I'm doing I'm all set I know I know what I'm doing (hey, hey, hey) And questions I still have, I ain't answer yet But none of you know either Share your expertise, I know you're very wise But people please I need you to cease Feeding me your advice And leave me in peace I think he would come here (I think he would come here) In my dreams I hold so dear (Dreams I hold so dear) If only my subconscious was clear (Subconscious was clear) But it burns like a pyre at the end of a pier (Hey) So I don't know when he's going to appear (I) I think he would come here (I-I think he would come here) In my dreams I hold so dear (Dreams I hold so dear) If only my subconscious was clear (Subconscious was clear) But it burns like a pyre at the end of a pier (Hey) So I don't know when he's going to appear (I) But I think I know what I'm doing (hey, hey, hey) I know what I'm doing I'm all set How I know what I'm doing (hey, hey, hey) Cause questions I still have, I ain't answer yet And none of you know either Share your expertise, I know you're very wise, hey But people please I need you to cease Feeding me your advice And leave me in peace, hey Way too nice I think he would come here Hit the emergency shut-off valve But the page is turning Leave me in peace Burning up like the sun Looking up into the sky Looking up into the sky Looking up into the sky