Taylor Mali - Depression Too is a Kind of Fire lyrics

I'm an idiot because once before we were married she asked me whether I knew that we would not be having children if we did get married, and I said yes. And because she knew I was lying, she asked if I was really okay with that. And because I'm an idiot I said yes again. And once during a fight, not married more than two years, she said she felt like my first wife, and I, like an idiot, a**ured her that she was. She worked out at the gym five times a week and smoked as many packs of ultra lights, and I'm an idiot because when I asked her why, She said, Because I hate myself and I want to die. And I laughed and said something I don't recall, something completely and utterly insufficient. From the roof of our apartment, I saw 40 or 50 people jump from the towers on a Tuesday morning—we used to be able to see them to the south, just as, to the north, we can still see (and by “we” I guess I mean now just me) the Empire State Building, which still steeps me in gratitude because I'm an idiot— out of the smoke with arms flailing. And I swear I saw a perfect swan. And I was going to write a poem about how fire is the only thing that can make a person jump out a window. And maybe I'm an idiot for thinking I could have saved her— call me her knight in shattered armor— could have loved her more, or told her the truth about children. But depression, too, is a kind of fire. And I know nothing of either.