T.J. Miller - Sad Raps lyrics

These are the sad raps, for the moment when your happy lapses These are the sad raps, for the times when you are down These are the sad raps, for the moment when your happy lapses These are the sad raps, for the times when we are down Ugly Duckling I walk, staring at my feet, in the dead leaves People mocking me, like Charlie Brown's Christmas tree Just last week, my crew went to see the Lakers They didn't invite me, though, I heard about it later I went to Skid Row, and tried to hang around But they made me leave, said I was bringing people down They won't even let me volunteer at a hospice I lose my keys, just so I can talk to locksmiths And my love life is moving pretty slow Last time I had a date, MTV was showing videos The operator won't even take my call I couldn't get a 'yes' from a bobblehead doll I think I'd settle for some eye contact 'Cause I couldn't feel alive if I was high on crack Sally Struthers said that I was making her depressed How long I can go on, that's anybody's guess My depression sets in from childhood neglection At times I find myself standing in the intersection Some people say that dogs are man's best friend So why does Elvis run away when I'm calling him? The suicide hotline had me holding half the night Overdosed on vitamins then brought back to life I could only hope for a sympathy vote Bought tickets for a singles cruise then missed the boat T.J. Miller I feel alone, I got no peeps I'd say three out of seven nights I cry myself to sleep I'm the saddest dude alive, you'll never see me smile I feel confined, even when I freestyle You can sit here and talk sh** or berate me But I'm probably the best at being self-deprecating Rather be asleep than awake, stay drunk in bed They say it's a symptom, I say it's escape Most women who date me end up fed up I'm the only guy who speed-dates and people ask to be sped up The saddest part of life is the whole thing The weather's bad when I arrive 'cause that's what I bring You think there's a rapper that's sadder? I'm flattered I was born a CEO and made my way down the corporate ladder Saying my only option's masturbating is an understatement I get bent, then I call my mom to vent And on Ash Wednesday, I give up hope for Lent These are the sad raps, for the moment when your happy lapses These are the sad raps, for the times when you are down These are the sad raps, for the moment when your happy lapses These are the sad raps, for the times when we are down I'm pretty down on myself in general... Even the beat doesn't want to be around me... ...