T.J. Miller - Now We're Partying lyrics

Woman Oh my gosh, girls, and Peter, don't look now; I told you don't look. There's that guy, he is so weird. Look at him in his violet shirt with that toddler body. You know, you don't need to be wearin' no shades of lavender, When you got a body like a baby. Oh no, I will not dance. I will not dance. T.J I got a club foot on the left side And on the right side I have an even worse foot. I'm a weird dude, I like weird sh** I'm a weird guy, I get weird with it When I party it don't make much sense Don't mind me, I'm on a 32 day Tanqueray cleanse So you want to party like that, b**h? It's the fusion between confusion and something else I'd probably get kicked out if it wasn't for the wealth Let's wear togas, with tuxedos underneath And order several pizzas we allow homeless men to eat (Now I'm partying with them!) Roll up to the club with a limp like I'm hurt (ow!) Ask for medical attention but I call everyone Bert (what up, Bert?) Then I explain, I'm not even wounded This club s**s, I arrived and still ruined it Bring a boombox in the car wash (now we're partying) Recipes for goulash (now we're partying) Laundrymat with no clothes (now we're partying) At the nudist camp fully clothed I'm a party machine, remixing Martin Luther King Because I also have a very important dream But in mine I'm naked, and I'm bathing in shaving cream So it's a weird one, it's actually not that inspirational... NyQuil when I'm fine, liquor when I'm sick And if someone asks to see it, I show 'em a little dick Not my penis, the short guy named Richard, we call him Rick (what up, Rick?) He's actually kind of a dick I drink malt liquor on the playground Vomit watching kids on the merry-go-round Wait outside public restrooms, tell them I'm not in line When they come out, I say how was it and they say "...fine?" I got sliced ham in my pocket ready to go If someone wants a sandwich, just provide your own roll It's BYOB, that means "bring your own bread" Right foot, it's always Nikes, on my left it's Keds For every beer I drink, one goes in the toilet I tell all the girls my purple shirt is violet And watch them as they're more confused than I am Then I politely offer them some of my pocket ham (it's hickory!) Malt liquor at the party store (now we're partying) Read Norwegian folklore (now we're partying) Waterpark lost-and-found (now we're partying) At casual events I wear a ball gown Ninny-ninny foo foo, this is how we do do Shizzle my tizzle, I fizzle when I'm on the kizzle Nothing that I'm saying even makes sense (makes sense) Everything I'm saying is nonsense (nonsense) I wear shrimp cologne, go on double dates alone Call myself three days later, don't pick up the phone I make deposits at the bank, hangin' at the ATM Sneak a peak at someone's balance (Now I'm partying with them!) Don't like keg stands, prefer keg sits When I drink wine, I get the beer-sh**s Tell me about your b**bs, I stay abreast of those tits They're like whiskey when it's cold: I likes little nips! I smoke a little weed, then I smoke a little less (what?) I'm ADD so I need hours for the breathalyzer test I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom Mostly janitorial, mop and broom Got kicked out of the party store for partying But in my opinion, yo, here's the thing If it's a party store and I can't breakdance or drink They should call it The Unfun Streamer Store, don't you think? Hanging out with Crevin Harbu*ton (now we're partying) Red hats, nice luncheon (now we're partying) Asleep in the cab (now we're partying) Build a pillow fort out of mattresses Woman Oh, I know he not gonna try to sing too, Oh my gosh, that is so 1970. T.J. Oh girls, it is so good to hang out with you guys in person I'm sick of Skyping (Nevermind.) -