Sycamore Smith - The Antler Pile lyrics

In Scarlet Town where Barbara Allen k**ed herself A golden arm is tarnishing upon a shelf It holds a gla** and raises it to Barbara's health It's the 4th of July, yet The cuckoo is quiet The Captain is wrapped in his rat-skin rags The river is jammed up with cats in bags Me, I pledge alligators to the flag-- It's thinner than gauze And spangled with moths I've got all the answers to your questions, my la**: Yes, No, Yes, Yes, No...and Don't Ask The sailors empty vessels in the dingy bar And pa** around a sabre-toothed scimitar The Captain's on the antler pile gettin' carved While the lighthouse spins Like it's lit with gin A double-agent drinks a dram of muscatel While dreaming up a secret plan that he can sell A sniper on the tree-top aims a musket well Ba-BOOM, and it's done By a baboon with a gun My pops used to say it a lot But I never say it too often: "The hardest man will soften Betwixt the handles of his coffin" A strangler is loose & folks are frantic The hearses he has filled are choking traffic While hiding out he'll tidy up your attic With the duster he made From your grandmother's braids Before you croak there's something that you ought to know The afterlife is hot no matter where you go For Hell is roasting Heaven, slowly, from below I've seen it all from the window Of my villa in Limbo...