Swamburger - Commercial Property lyrics
[Verse 1] We now- interrupt your program to advertise a new season of Making of the Band Big contestants from all over the states Will compete for five spots and do whatever it takes Highlights include comedy bloopers and out-takes Tune in Thursdays, around half-past eight So you can pick the next New Kids on the Block Make Jackson Five clones, make 'em play hard rock More reality shows, pick from infinite stock Cause we gotta do our part to get you people to watch [Verse 2] Smoke-It-Today has got a filter which doesn't harm Alarm the non-doers with what you're pursuin', your pleasure's peakin' It's all-natural, it doesn't reek of tobacco burnin' the smell in your clothes Great for the ha**le [Verse 3] Program intervene We have a cure for herpes but it may erupt your spleen Other side effects may include the altering the genes Giving birth to children with troubled minds, and no f- [Verse 4] We now interrupt your program to advertise a new at-home retinal scan It's government-approved and it's safe for all ages to use, but it might cause a cranial bruise There's no longer a need for keys to lose If you purchase right now you automatically register for a chance to win a Carnival cruise Call 1-800-EYE-SCAN, it's right for you- [Verse 5] Ex-cu~use this brief long-winded infomercial here The ones who brought you flag decals Concentrated freedom of beats try-outs for those leaders who died out Tee- [Verse 6] We interrupt your program to inform you that George Bush has another scam To get his son re-elected without the help of his band to lower the price of gas Just to get you in his hand, s**a [Interlude] [Verse 7] We now interrupt your program with a message from N-E-O the name brand We're cuttin' prices at the warehouse, so come and purchase The clothin' that'll make you look fresh on the surface When you're wearin' this it goes without bein' said that you'll have a logo on your back and your pantleg But don't forget to grab accessories on the way out Especially the one's that's already pretty- [Verse 8] Ha, we have a new standard of living that we can sell to you with any credit card given Visa or Master, it even treats colon cancer, doctors are on site with cameras and broadcasters You won't be the victims cause I'm a ma** market it as popular as can be till they forget of the origin In addition to this package is a pair of new shoes For you and your family with matching dolls and Blues Clue- [Verse 9] Sure, sure people work so hard to respect Don't you wanna be like the rest or be let for the comparison The most delectable guest of hoe, ya never spoke of refunding your dreams for better things So it seems the only out is to reap out your life vivid what we'd see [Interlude] [Verse 10] Around 10, back-to-back episodes of Sports Talk begins We repeat it six times in a row, so don't miss it, but if you do, here's a website to go and visit Complete with all the latest highlights and updates, and tonight we'll feature a contest Where seven 300-pound men all have a chance to see who can eat the most cupcakes without regurgi- [Verse 11] Are you depressed? Shallow in the chest? Boyfriends always leavin' you cause the size of yo breast? We have a new method of giving you more for less A hormonal ma**age, but does it really work? Well, yes We got the top misogynists and scientists workin' together So you can fill that new Kashmir sweater up with plump bumps All that fits your self-esteem rhythm provided to you by the Cleavage Club [Verse 12] Okay - envision yourself on a beautiful beach with beautiful freaks Beautiful horizon, a beautiful Jeep you own Beautiful day, beautiful way to spend time on that beautiful bay and beautiful sky Can't forget the beautiful photogenic camera to take beautiful pictures Of the beautiful, beautiful, beautiful life Thanks to this beautiful moment, remember that it can be beautiful with Kodak's disposables We urge you to listen to these instructions carefully: "Self-Sacrifice is the law of our age" "Self-Sacrifice? But it is precisely the self that cannot and must not be sacrificed A man's self is his spirit. It is the unsacrificed self that we must respect in man Above all."