Statik - Down The Line lyrics

[Statik] Sometimes I wonder if my heart feels I'm a product of emotions sealed off, that's protected with some shields And I'm trapped in cells - can't escape this prison Lost in my own world with haunting thoughts I'm given A self-made incision - forget if it was my decision All I know is I'm down on my knees and brought into submission I don't know where I went wrong, but - I can't live in this condition: Negligent omissions I'm the definition of mercurial, seen way too many funerals Maybe my emotions have been left at the memorial cuz everyone I love leaves Physically or spiritually, and it's making me believe That I'm better on my own... Can't trust people around me so I rather stay alone August 2012 everyone stopped answering the phone Looking back I think it's the time that my heart turned into stone Coming home to find my step dad on the floor Only seeing his foot on the ground near the door Couldn't understand how things like this could happen so sudden At 48 my mom had to bury her second husband... Now I'm looking at his kids and Feeling like I owe it to Jon and Brand To take away their pain, sink it all into my veins But I need your strength so I called you in the rain! Crying and sobbing...can't understand a damn thing I'm saying Trynna put it all together, only then realizing I'm no longer your problem - and your time is wasting Don't know why in these times you crossed my mind You're in my past but the memories I couldn't leave behind But - this was when I needed you the most Reminiscing on the memories when we use to be close Plus my friends are ghost - can't really turn to em They left without a warning, I was no concern to em When I returned they mourned for me, but still scorned on me Only girl to love me for me was recently born you see She never really judges me Loves "Dam" for who he is, the way she clutches on to me Like I'm her world, I got two baby girls They aren't mine but in my mind they are And I want to throw em in the stars Cuz - I pour all of my love in them It's kind of weird but their my motivation when I'm looking at women, not feeling connections, I have a limited selection Always had a certain standard - the way I treated girls Always loved to have em pampered ans spoil them with some pearls But, now I can't deliver - feeling like a bum Sitting home and I quiver at the man that I've become I don't know where this came from - the visions in my head Keep me up at night, reflecting while I'm shaking in my bed Can't be your Prince Charming so I'm staying out of sight There's no point in being here if I can never treat you right! My lack of confidence stops me from getting a girls that are real Easy is ideal, I'm having s** instead of making love - what a shame Haven't made love in years, don't dare tell me it's the same Cuz it's not! My mind is tangled in a knot If I see Cupid, I'll break his wings and leave him in the parking lot Cuz he shot me once but didn't shoot her back It's the ultimate punishment, I've fallen through the cracks Suicide crossed my mind, I don't care about the pallet But if I quit on life, then I'd throw away my talent... What a waste - I just need to try harder These flashbacks in my mind are spears piercing through this armor I'm a glamorous artist working through the trash Train wreck who's been derailed from the start, but people love a crash Don't wanna make a splash, I wanna to make earthquakes Tsunamis, but I'm lost, without this music I would break Don't want people to get attached me To the people that I worry I'm sorry... If I hurt you in the process, take it as a sign You're better off without me further down the line... Outro: This wasn't in the plans I didn't wanna release a song like this quite yet... I guess I just had to tell people how I truly felt...