Sh-K-Boom Records - Everyone Tells Jason to See a Psychiatrist lyrics

[JASON] My father's a h*mo My mother's not thrilled at all Father h*mo: What about chromosomes? Do they carry? Will they carry? Who's the h*mo now? My father said that one day I'll grow to be president And that idea's not so wild I don't live the life of a normal child 'Cause I'm too smart for my own good And I'm too good for my sorry little life My mother's no wife And my fathers no man No man at all! [TRINA, spoken] Honey, why don't you go out and play? [JASON, spoken] No (Jason begins to play chess with himself. Quickly playing one side, turning the board, moving a piece, turning the board again, etc.) [TRINA] Sweetheart I worry Sweetheart I do I worry a lot I worry a lot I worry a lot (spoken) I could take you to the Jewish center? [JASON] (Jason mocks throwing up.) [TRINA] I think you like playing chess alone That's not normal [JASON] What is normal? [TRINA, spoken] I wouldn't know (sung) Why don't you speak on the telephone With anyone, just get a friend- Anyone Darling, please a psychiatrist He's quite a guy And I admire how he acts No one is saying you're a sick neurotic But you could find some help Hear me out, please Yes, you could find some help He could help you realize How confused you are! Yes, it's very clear: Daddy's sincere But a schmo! You and I must trust our emotions Make no commotions Will you go? [JASON, spoken] No! [MARVIN] Jason, please see a psychiatrist He's just a psychiatrist I'll pay the bill Until You're old [MARVIN] Jason Please see A psychiatrist He's just A psychiatrist I'll pay the Bill Until You're old [TRINA] Darling please listen To your father here He's not a genius type Lord knows, but he Knows whats true He chose a man who I Think knows the answers To all your problems Mendel understands What's bothering you [JASON] No I won't go I will not go Never never Never never Never [JASON, spoken] Forget it [ALL] What a mess this is This family! Experts can see This is so! (Photo flash; they all make faces like a parody of a happy family portrait, then relax.) Photographs can't Capture our magic We're simply tragic! [MARVIN AND TRINA] Will you go? [JASON, spoken] No [MARVIN AND TRINA] Jason, please see a psychiatrist! He's not- [JASON] I won't say boo! [MARVIN AND TRINA] -exorbitant And he's very smart! [JASON] If intelligence were the only criterion Then I wouldn't really need a psychiatrist, would I? [TRINA, spoken] No [JASON] Would I? [MARVIN, spoken] No [JASON] Just because you failed as parents... [TRINA] ...Get thee to a psychiatrist! [MARVIN] Hey, kid, listen- [JASON] I don't need- [TRINA AND MARVIN] He needs a psychiatrist! [JASON] I want- [TRINA AND MARVIN] A psychiatrist! [JASON] I wanna speak with Whizzer! [MARVIN] Speak with whom? [JASON] With Whizzer [MARVIN] With Whizzer? [TRINA] With Whizzer [JASON] With Whizzer [MARVIN, spoken] Oh my god [TRINA, MARVIN, AND JASON] Whizzer! Whizzer! Whizzer! Whizzer! (Whizzer kneels between Marvin and Jason.) [JASON] Whizzer, do you think I should see a psychiatrist? [WHIZZER] I'm not sure, Jason Jason, maybe so Absolutely, Jason [JASON] ...OK, I'll go [WHIZZER] He'll go [JASON] I'll go [TRINA] He'll go! [JASON] If he comes here [MARVIN] If he comes here? [TRINA] He might come here [MARVIN] They don't make house calls (Whizzer's watch alarm begins beeping.) [WHIZZER, spoken] Oh! (Whizzer turns off the alarm.)