Seymour Butts - The Scumbag's Medley lyrics

[Part 1: Matthew Goes To Hell] You are the biggest f**ing f*ggot I've ever seen on this entire f**ing globe I hope the devil dwindles on your sins of the past And with his pitchfork gives you an an*l probe There..you..go.. Fire spurts from crevices beside you as you Fall silently, nothing that you say or do will stop Your eternal pain as you plummet into the gates of Hell If the devil finds himself worthy of your presence, time will tell Unsurprisingly, he found you to be a twit A scumbag with no education and lack of wit So he scorched you so bad your eyes rolled out of your sockets So motherf**ing hard nickels melted in your pockets So hard that your fingers looked like projectiles As they shot off of your hand, and you were no longer futile The tiny balls that you had went bursting off of your pelvis And you screamed and yelped in pain, but you just remained in there helpless That's how you'll know that you're in Hell That's how you'll know that you're in Hell When your family kicks your gravestone down and lights it on fire When you see your corpse dissolve atop a f**ing pyre Mr. Madison, you're in Hell [Part 2: The Prince and the Scumbag] The prince wears his ruby crown and watches his father's kingdom Listens to his angelic choir behind him sing "Come Descend from Heaven, our beautiful savior While Matthew sits and he signs a waiver To do a mindless stunt involving pyro and a gyro He's so goddamned f**ing stupid that he doesn't see it's bad Jump of the topmost steeple and land in a pit of spikes For Christ's f**ing sake, Matt, are you f**ing mad? Then he takes a wallop from a muscleman, and he's floored to the ground And then he takes some bloody biting from a vicious, k**ing coonhound And followed by some beagles and a rottie and a pit bull Then Zeus strikes you with lightning 'cause he's done with the f**ing sh** pulled By your useless, soulless a** that everyone despises Everyone proudly waits for you and Szegeti's demises And no lawyer will help you no matter how much dough you offer As the prince watches his kingdom, pulls his coronet from his coffer [Part 3: Drinks To You] Here's to Matthew, 'cause he's an Ugly, stupid, friendless, loveless b**h He's a thick and idiotic, heartless, dickless witch Nobody thinks that he deserves to live inside this planet And no one knows his birth middle name is f**ing Janet Nobody understands that he and his buddy Szegeti Are the reincarnations of Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin The amount of people they piss off is just f**ing appalling So here's a toast to the fact That if Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini, Wilkes Booth, and Dracula were in the room And I had infinite bullets in my gun I would choose you two And f**ing shoot you over and over and over and over And over and over and over and over again Here is the toast to you, you pricks