Scarlet - WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER PUTTIN' ON MAKEUP? lyrics

There's an old southern saying that gentile ladies do not sweat, they perspire. I thought of that lovely saying as I was standing in my garage at 6am this morning wiping the .. ahem... sweat off of my face. This is prior to the time when it actually goes on record as being a “hot” day. This is when the darkness is just about to disappear and the birds are singing and sweat is rolling. I became a “blue collar” worker a few years ago. And, it has given me an appreciation of so many new things. But, on this muggy morning, I was grateful that I wasn't standing in my garage with my “good” clothes on with stockings and high heels. I was standing there in shorts and a tee shirt. But, I did get up and brush my teeth and put on my face. Yes, that means the goo in the little bottle and the powered puff of stuff. I had run a brush through my hair and even had lipstick on. I considered myself to be respectable looking. However, I always hope I never run into anyone I know. So, down the road I went.. driving and wiping my face. And, when I looked at the towel that had just made a trip down the side of my face, I realized something terrible was happening. In the middle of my melting in this early morning heat, I was wiping off the goo and the puff stuff. And, almost as quickly, I said out loud, “Why do I even bother puttin' on makeup?” Yes, as sure as the birds were singing, I was becoming less respectable looking. The face you see when you first wake up in the morning and turn on the bathroom light.... that kind of face. I have never been a vain person. While I do know that this column is about ME, I don't much care. But, it does seem to be a rather large waste of money, time and effort for me to put on all the goo and puff stuff so that I can wipe it off before anyone ever sees me. And, hopefully, no one I know. Don't you think? Wait a second. Maybe I really don't wipe ALL of it off. Maybe there is some sense of respectableness as I walked among the ma**es today. This wet stuff is only showing me off in a better way. I do believe my grandmamma would be so proud that I'm not sweating, I'm glistening!